I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
