He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
