shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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