i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
