READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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