yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
