shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
