i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
