just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You are the jesus of drinking
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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