apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
