just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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