Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
