her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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