Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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