I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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