Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
