Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
