My nipple is on Facebook.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
