I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
