Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
