she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize