If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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