FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Randomize
