I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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