WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Boobs speak an international language.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
