don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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