Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize