she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You have to summon your inner elephant
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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