I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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