You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
