the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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