Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
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