how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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