He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
