I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Boobs are out for the taking
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
