so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
