I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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