somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
