I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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