Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
