I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
