Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
