Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good

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(614): View more from Ohio

Welp...herpes.

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(330): View more from Ohio

i think i have two assholes

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(585): View more from New York

i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"

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(503): View more from Oregon

We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.

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(212): View more from New York

There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.

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