At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
