You're completely useless in the revolution.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
