Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
