I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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