i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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