I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
