Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
