She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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