everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
